Earnest young girls Excel and Hyatt (both codenames) hold down minimum-wage jobs to support their true avocation: trying to conquer the city of Fukuoka for the secret organization ACROSS and its dreamy dictator, Il Palazzo--a man whose dignity is such that he could never acknowledge that ACROSS consists of himself, a leaky basement, two unpaid teenage interns, and a stray dog. But society is all to blame, as creator Rikdo Koshi takes aim at everything from organized religion to public television, in a manga that makes reindeer spit blood and puts puppies on the dinner menu. Find out why translator Dan Kanemitsu compares Excel Saga to "Michael Moore (Bowling for Columbine) directing Power Rangers"!
Excel and Hyatt's nice, normal, next door neighbors Watanabe, Iwata, and Sumiyoshi are just a bunch of regular guys--who are about to start suffering from Excel Saga's chronic irregularity. The mysterious Dr. Kabapu and his devastating secretary Matsuya have recruited these jobless youth for the Environmental Security Administration--to be among the few (the five, actually), the proud, the protectors of Fukuoka. What are the odds that this joy will bring them in conflict with Excel and Hyatt, who just happen to work for their own, rival, scantily-staffed covert organization...dedicated to taking Fukuoka over? Exactly five to two in favor!
There's always an election coming up, and the city of Fukuoka won't be spared either. But what petty party stooge is this so-called "candidate for mayor" who dares presume to take control of a town Lord Il Palazzo has already stamped "Property of ACROSS"? Excel and Hyatt go undercover by volunteering for the campaign, and discover that democracy Japanese-style will have you begging for hanging chads. Vol. 03 of Excel Saga stays strong on the issues like health care reform, which must be why the girls have dressed up like nurses and snuck into the local hospital--where awaits everyone's favorite butcher, I mean, lecher: I mean, Doctor Iwata, M.D. Then: Not a dream! Not an imaginary story! One night, when the whole apartment's asleep, enter a place where even Freud would fear to tread: the REM state of our characters! Refreshed, Excel Saga's neighbors get up and go to work as their secret alter egos: yes, in this issue! the good guys and bad girls (DISCLAIMER Designations "Good" and "Bad" subject to the requirements of public policy) make dim first contact in the city sewers. Will it end senselessly in a waste of human life, or just in human waste?
There could be no return address for Hyatt when she's taken hostage in a post-office holdup! But the threat of death means squat to someone who already dies several times in any given working day--and in any case seems largely unaware why she's been tied up and taken on an impromptu road trip. Excels' teeth-clenching rescue leads to a visit from--The Clones of Dr. Iwata?!? When she disguises herself as her blood-spouting buddy in order to scam free dental care, she falls under the drill (and questing fingers) of a lustful, bungling dentist who looks remarkably like the lustful, bungling surgeon of fame. But who's going to lose more teeth in the encounter? Meanwhile, as Il Palazzo continues to ponder the ominous voices (?) inside (?) his head, and little latchkey puppy Mince, chisel in maw, labors on an apartment jailbreak worthy of Escape From Alcatraz, everyone's heading for the obligatory swimsuit scene at the public pool. Ordinarily, it would be the obligatory nude scene at the hot springs resort, but of course no one in Excel Saga can afford a vacation like that.
"Doctor, Doctor, Doctor..." Yes, it's time to introduce our entire panel of M.D.s , Ph.D.s, and sex-offender parolees, as Dr Kabapu introduces his "Q," technical advisor Dr. Shiouji. Egotistical, narcissistic, demented--this is the mind behind the powerful, yet poorly-tested weapons Fukuoka's finest have been issued. But is there a dark side to this public-spirited defense contractor? Does he have an unnatural attraction to his high-powered and higher-pitched android schoolkid, Ropponmatsu II--and if so, what exactly would a normal, healthy attraction to her look like? Our third Doctor, Iwata, locked up like Lecter in a straightjacket and cell, could maybe answer this, if his mouth wasn't sealed with carpet tape. Warning: don't get too excited by the use of the word sex earlier in this blurb. T-rated, pal; that's what it says, right there in the bottom corner.
Steak--it's what's for dinner, if Excel and Hyatt's latest sizzler of a job can last. They want beef, but intead end up having it, because that spunky schizoid Ropponmatsu II has moved in to brighten everyone's lives. And when the girls try to find some quiet outside, they run smack into Lolita Orphan Annie: little lost Hiyoko-chan, object of the scientific affection of the admittedly even-prettier Dr. Shiouji. The tragic duty of getting Excel Saga's story moving again must then fall to Ropponmatsu I. When the proxy of Kabapu lays hands on the flunky of Il Palazzo, Excel discovers that sometimes when they touch, the honesty is, frankly, far too much. Oshii what happens as ghosts in the rattlin' shell that is our characters' lives appear, and a little-girl persona challenges their very perception of reality. That's not too much of a loss, when you stop to think about it.
Just because Sumiyoshi has the sight, weight, and barely comprehensible speech patterns of a CS/EE major, doesn't mean that he is one. But then--just how much memory does he have stashed inside that room of his? Outside in the blue sky and sunshine, the chickens of the sea have come home to roost for Fukuoka's big Birdman-By-The-Beach contest, where various freaks and losers, including most of Excel Saga's cast, pit their feeble thrashings against Earth's gravity in pursuit of one...million...uh, yen. If Excel, Hyatt, and Mince can survive with a majority of their bones unbroken, their next mission stands to increase ACROSS's forces by 33.3%, provided the girls can make contact with a prospective new recruit--somewhere within the new cliffside resort run by the mysterious vet from Vol. 05. But war memories flash back from his bald skull--or is that just the gleam off the Messerschmitt BF 109 G-6 he's got fueled up in a basement hangar?
Good morning, angels of death! The elegant Elgala is here, to make three (human) members in the--what's the opposite of elite?--strike force serving ACROSS. But you know Lord Il Palazzo's name ain't Charlie, and this spiral-sideburned siren will fail to provide a moderating force between Excel and Hyatt. In fact her drilly tresses prove an auger of bad tidings, and before they know it the trio are screwed--phrasing carefully crafted to restrain our laughter, for homelessness isn'tfunny. Except, of course, when it happens to the cast of Excel Saga, in which case it's a laff riot! When their apartment burns to the ground, the good guys in residence can at least crash at the office--but when you work for ACROSS and your office is a flooded basement studio (1BA, 1THRN), it looks like the bad girls are going to have to get their beauty rest under corrugated cardboard.
"Fukuoka 911!" Perhaps the stress of the hobo lifestyle has led Excel Saga's characters to crack and imagine themselves cast in a badly edited retrospective on Japanese cop shows. But back in The Real World--no, not the MTV version, but the one with all the poverty, squalor, and filth--life brings surprising new fortune to Hyatt, Excel, and Elgâla, as they are mysteriously led to new digs equipped with--dig!--CABLE! Yet even that mercy packed syringe known as the remote cannot long keep them from their responsibilities, as both sides in the battle for the city and their shadow war to fight it out in the streets with lots of guns and lots of robots! Will the cynical masses respond to this awesome demonstration of power, or will they assume it's just violent guerilla marketing for the next Power Rangers sequel?
Finding a ready (and willing!) audience at a small-town retail outlet, Excel preaches the word of ACROSS. She's a smash success (as a performance artist), until Iwata and gang arrive in robotic attire. Poor Excel...does she have what it takes to right the wrongs of society--or will the elegantly military El Gala take her glory away? In a crisis of faith, Excel strikes out on her own--leaving a note behind for her beloved Il Palazzo. Meanwhile--who knew?--Sumoyoshi's tasty little sister comes to town on a visit. Then, if there wasn't already enough isolation and despair in the world, the whole group is transported back to High School Daze (remember, this book is rated "T" for teen!).Yes, head-master Kabapu, we like beach volleyball, especially when the gorgeous girls of ACROSS are involved...saving the world, one bikini at a time.
Hard cash is the theme of the day, as the women of ACROSS discover the promise of domestic peace to be a gold brick--literally. Nor do public-spirited paupers like Watanabe receive all that many of your tax dollars, which could seal the tomb on his nearly-necrophilic affection for Hyatt. It seems that for someone so closely beckoned by the spirit world, Hyatt can be a remarkably material girl--that must be why she and Watanabe are on a romantic date down to the local ATM. Will their cold, still love hang upon his balance?
Sitting on a park bench…no, it's not Aqualung, but Dr. Shiouji, whose view of the slides and swing sets is being blocked by a beautiful girl--tall, voluptuous, just turned eighteen…in other words, not his type. But who is the mysterious Miss Umi, and why is she trying to get the Doctor's attention, pandering to him and the readers alike by dressing in a nurse's outfit, a maid's outfit, and yes, in desperation, a schoolgirl's outfit? Meanwhile, Watanabe is lost at sea with a dead albatross named Ha-chan around his neck. Will he give into the Coleridge-like temptation?
Signs and wonders mark the escalation of the battle for Fukuoka! But can even giant visions in the sky awaken the jaded citizens to the struggle--or Dr. Kabapu's revelations convince his own staff that he's not more of a loony than they thought? And will the final sign be the appearance of the most feared individual in all of EXCEL SAGA, the University of Illinois' own Dr. Miwa Rengaya, the Courtney Love of science...and Shiouji's mother?
Last volume, ACROSS tried and failed to capture a member of the City Environmental Security Agency. This time, Dr. Kabapu tries to capture a member of ACROSS--and succeeds! Vol. 14 of EXCEL SAGA not only proudly offers further plot development--never to be taken for granted, as in lesser manga--but shamelessly panders to base reader instincts with a romantic date, a muddy catfight, and two lavish bath scenes, one of which unfortunately involves Dr. Kabapu.
While Watanabe proposes marriage and desperately studies how to have "sex," nothing can come between him and Hyatt--nothing, that is, except the return of her lord and master, Il Palazzo. Meanwhile, Excel and Elgala are sent to a forsaken women's prison colony--yeah, chains, sadistic warden, the whole bit. But soon EXCEL SAGA leaves these cheap thrills behind, in favor of capital-intensive thrills, as ACROSS attempts to beat Kabapu at his own game: money and respectability!
Dr. Kabapu be ILLin', as the stunning success of Il Palazzo's eponymous electronics firm is turning him literally sick. But even while ILL's president--the stylish, corporate Excel--carries out her CEO's directives, kindhearted Umi discovers another version of her: a woman in a torn prison outfit with little memory of her past. Dressing the stranger from her extensive cos-play wardrobe, Umi brings the mystery girl into the Shiouji household, only to let her fall into Aunt Miwa's clutches. And that's not a figure of speech!
It's a nonstop neurotic cabaret as Excel/Teriha is targeted for assassination and kidnapping--in that order! As Umi attempts to find her amnesiac friend safe employment in a maid café, two things are beginning to return: her memory and Dr. Kabapu's health. But just as "Teriha"'s past is coming back to her in strange bits and pieces, the Doctor is no longer the ruthless man he once was, but a kindly old gent who's discovered the true meaning of--and that's all the spoilers we have time for now.
In Fukuoka, first you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women--unless you're Il Palazzo, in which case you get the women first and proceed from there. As the struggle for the city takes its most blatant form yet, with a mayoral race between the long-haired chairman of ILL and the long-mustached head of the Department of Environmental Security. It falls to Elgala, of all people, to comprehend that something is terribly, terribly wrong with Excel. But sit back and relax--because there's something terribly wrong for everyone in this volume of Excel Saga!
Usually Elgala knows too little...but now she knows too much! Sent out by her Lord to live as a fugitive on the streets of Fukuoka, the poor purple-haired girl is back to the kind of homeless lifestyle she used to whine about with Seniors Excel and Hyatt--but now, she's all alone...except for, awww, a small white doggy. Somewhere on those same streets is the person Elgala insists exists...the real Excel. But Excel doesn't know who she is--and is she becoming so much a part of the Shiouji family that contentment will trump conquest?
Guess who's back…back again…Excel's back…tell a friend! But of course, there are still two Excels…and still two bombs rigged to blow ILL headquarters sky-high! Even though her memory of her old self has returned, Excel's recollection of her time as "Teriha" remains unclear…yet contains clues she and Elgala will need as they target the impostor. Plus there's no welcome back for either of them--just the same pursuit and poverty. Fortunately, if there's one thing ACROSS agents know how to do, it's hustle for cash--with a gig as shrine maidens that's simply sacrilicious!
It's oo-er in the sewer as Excel and Elgala make their stealthy, stinky way beneath Fukuoka, determined to return to base at last! But when Excel fulfills her dream of reaching out to touch her Lord, it seems he's not quite there... but unfortunately, a certain sprightly robot is! And speaking of mechanical menaces, why should Iwata be allowed to create chaos in just one body, when there's so much more he could inflict with three? Sent by Shiouji to infiltrate the underground sanctum, there's only one thing now that can prevent the professor from learning all of ACROSS's secrets--the fact Iwata is extremely dumb.
Under the clear, unambiguous orders (you can never be too sure of that in Excel Saga) once more of Lord Il Palazzo, Excel sneaks into the very place that figures in her half-remembered visions: Shiouji's lab! Knocked out and captured once inside, Excel is interrogated by Matsuya, but she'll never talk! Never! Well, knowing her, maybe she'll talk a little. Meanwhile, Dr. Kabapu, finally realizing that the flaw in using Iwata as an agent of justice is Iwata, decides to take direct personal control of his super-powered suit! Oh my God, this is starting to sound like an anime!
They were always hassling Number Six about why he resigned, but when your boss is Dr. Kabapu, there should be no mystery that the younger and still human members of the City Environmental Security Administration have just given notice. But their mass walkout from the office is about to collide with the massive presence(s) coming in, known as Miwa Rengaya. Will this noted motivational speaker help Kabapu's employees face what could be the greatest challenge of their careers--namely, actually doingtheir supposed job...to face down ACROSS in mortal combat?
Excel cannot long survive in the artificial body of Isshiki; the tragedy is that she has no incentive to leave it, as she’s finally the faultless servant of Lord Il Palazzo she’s dreamed of being. By contrast, Iwata seems to have made a recovery under Matsuya’s care—but in coming back to his old self, he tells her secrets beyond what a lover would. And Miwa makes her next move by revealing a few things her son has kept to himself. They say a little knowledge is dangerous—and if it’s in the hands of Umi...?
Kabapu has spoken of a gate...Il Palazzo has spoken of a door. And for some time now, finding this portal has been the secret job description of the City Environmental Security Administration—secret, of course, from them most of all! Now Kabapu has made the task plain, but not plain enough to keep them from being trapped in ACROSS’s base with little food, little water, and a little problem called Elgala. And Umi, too, will journey deep into the mysteries that lie beneath Fukuoka...if that’s what it takes to save her friend Teriha...